Archive: It’s Time To Drive Jerry, Bill & Eldo Off The Ranch
(There was a feeling of relief and anticipation surrounding the Dallas Cowboys after Bill Parcells officially promoted Tony Romo to starter status in October of 2006. Parcells was “chipper,” Terrell Owens sounded relieved, and the whole team was primed and ready to rally around their new quarterback. But Randy Galloway was having none of the love-fest that was rocking the Ranch. While in support of Romo, Galloway believes that one promotion doesn’t make up for so many past mistakes.)
From the October 26, 2006 editions of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram
by Randy Galloway
If only we could sweep it out and sweep it clean at Valley Ranch, starting this morning.
Walking softly but carrying a big, nuclear broom, my Cowboys hit list would read in order:
Jerry Jones, forced into retirement, with a federal restraining order barring him from being within 100 miles of Valley Ranch and Texas Stadium.
Replaced as owner/GM by Stephen Jones, and believe me, while he’s next-of-blood, he’s different.
Bill Parcells, a negotiated buyout of the final 18 months of his contract, with the promise his permanent NFL coaching record would be purged of any mention he ever worked at Valley Ranch.
Yes, by mutual agreement let’s erase all evidence of Big Bill’s biggest coaching failure.
Replaced immediately as head coach by Todd Dodge, Southlake Carroll High School.
Selling point on Dodge: Comes from a bigger-time program than the one at Valley Ranch and knows offense.
Eldorado Owens, paid off for the remainder of the 10 mil, escorted immediately to the Valley Ranch door, and then thrown out on his overrated, overhyped butt.
Eldo’s mouth and mood swings have overloaded his production. Also has A-Rod disease. Big money, flashy numbers, but doesn’t hit in the clutch.
For the stealing of Jerry Jones’ money, based on contribution, no one has ever done it better than Eldo, except Nine-Toed Deion, Jerry’s all-time fraud.
OK, that’s my swift justice, and immediate fantasy firings at Valley Ranch.
Jerry gone. Bill gone. Eldo vanishes without a trace.
But after the national disgrace of Monday night, no one is safe. That means you, Mr. Bledsoe.
If Drew isn’t over his current pout, by say, Friday, blow his butt outta here, too.
If Bledsoe wants to be a good backup soldier, fine. If not…oh, well.
Tony Romo is the new ride in town. Got 10 games over the next 10 weeks to show his stuff at quarterback.
I got faith in the kid. And you, a little skeptical, maybe?
At least he gets a chance to prepare for a start, Sunday at Carolina, as opposed to coming in after Big Bill’s temper-fit, halftime-yanking of Bledsoe on Monday.
I applaud the change, just not the timing.
Overall, however, starting right now, these can’t be the same ol’, same ol’ Cowboys.
Learn. Research. Study. Seek answers to why this erratic mess keeps happening season after season.
Rely on old friends, such as a couple of guys down south.
Call the New Orleans Saints and beg head coach Sean Payton for advice. Same with his defensive coordinator, Gary Gibbs.
How do they leave Valley Ranch like seven months ago, take an impossible coaching job, and do what they are doing?
What is wrong with this picture? The Cowboys are a joke on national TV and the Saints are a national success story. Even a success story for humanity in general.
What did Payton do? OK, Drew Brees, you say. And Reggie Bush.
But Gibbs? Defensively, the Saints were considered the worst bunch in the NFL when the season opened.
What Gibbs has built from scrap parts is a unit of big-game bangers.
And he’s doing it with two linebacker, Scott Fujita and Scott Shanle, the Cowboys flat gave him over the summer. Two guys who couldn’t play here. I said couldn’t play here, and now all they do is make huge play after huge play in New Orleans.
You tell me. I don’t know.
But maybe Payton, a rookie head coach, will share his wisdom. Maybe Gibbs also will be benevolent.
They know something we don’t know.
Another area for research and study: How could a coaching legend like Parcells take Dave Campo players, win 10 games and make the playoffs, then take his own players and fail?
Maybe Campo was better than you thought, or has Parcells lost it as a talent evaluator?
While Parcells has repeatedly flunked at the position of quarterback, maybe that’s because he’s an old coot who never understood the urgency of finding one.
But offensive line? Defense? Four seasons later, how could those areas still be under-performing under Big Bill. Doesn’t make sense.
And Jerry? He rarely makes football sense.
But from a financial standpoint, what kind of brain blackout could have happened. How does he see it as good business to throw 10 mil at a troubled wide receiver when he knows he’s got an offensive line of rejects and retreads?
And Jerry actually believed a Bledsoe would be successful behind that bunch?
Get rid of everybody. Start all over again.
Too many questions. We need answers. Now.